After I wrote “Yearning for Gap Year“, I spent an entire month whining. Every single day I would say “This is not the life I want!”. Who wants to be around a person like that? Even I, got so sick of myself. I reeked of rotting flesh!
Good thing impulsiveness intervened. I woke up with eyes dilated and a grin to my face. Right, like a madman. I walked directly to my makeshift office, opened my laptop, typed a resignation letter, attached it to an email addressed to my boss and hit send. It all happened on a whim. Did I panic after that? Did I rush to my sent items and tried to recall the message? Did I cry? Did I suddenly come to my senses and banged my head on the wall for acting in haste? Quite the contrary. My heart beating with excitement, I rummaged through my clothes, grabbed a tee and a pair of sweatpants and went for a jog. It’s a new day.
It’s true what they say, if you free yourself from all the things that give you anxiety, you will suddenly appreciate all the things you used to ignore. Air, plants, your feet, strangers who smile at you, the pavement…I felt happiness. I also discovered that when you’re happy, you start caring for yourself more. You start to carefully choose what you eat, spend a few minutes on exercise, clean and organize your dwelling, nourish your brain with good books and so much more.
Today is day 31 and I am still mentally and emotionally stable. How about financially you might ask. Budget is really tight. But it does not worry me at all. Everyday since I quit my job, I screened the listings and out of a million jobs out there, I only found one that appealed to me. In a few days, I’ll be a part of the workforce again. But it will be a much more enthusiastic me who will be sorting paperwork and stuff. My head has been cleared of all negative thoughts and was able to establish new, healthy habits that I’m planning to keep. Sometimes, all you really need is to disrupt the status quo. I apologize if you were expecting an ending like travelling the world or starting my own farm. Who knows? I don’t have a timeline but I am sure I’ll do another spontaneous thing sooner or later. Wink wink. A leap of faith won’t destroy you dear friends. It will define you. Challenge the current state of things from time to time. You will only gain a more positive outlook on life, nothing less.